The Seconds We Lose
by Window2MySoul
Summary: And yet again, I had to do what was best for Narnia, and not for me...


**A/N: So I'm working on two other Chronicles stories right now, and they weren't really going anywhere, lack of inspiration really, so I decided to do this as a little writer's block filler. Enjoy.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Yada yada yada. Seriously, if I did, I wouldn't be writing this now would I?**

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****Peter POV**

Blow after blow I blocked, knowing that I couldn't give up. I had to fight, for Narnia, for Susan, for Lucy, for Edmund_. _I knew the last was extremely angered at my

decision to fight Miraz, nevertheless I also knew that he wouldn't question me, no matter how much it pained him. I gasped for air as I fought the usurper king; I

was more experienced, yes, the better swordsman. But long gone were the days where I had the stamina to match. Grunting, I fell as Miraz aimed a well placed

kick at my legs. I was irritated by this, but it made me more confident as well. Perhaps he knew he would not win on skill alone. My thoughts were stopped short as  
the older man brought his foot down brutally onto my shield. Upon the red lion that symbolized he who had made me King in the first place. I felt hot excruciating

fire shoot through my arm as my shoulder was jerked out of its socket. I did not want to cry out, yet I could not contain the scream of agony coming out of my

mouth. I braced myself against the pain, knowing that I could not lose, and threw a blow with my sword towards the dictator. I obviously had caught him by

surprise for he barely had a chance to block and it caused him to stumble backwards a moment. I took this opportunity to roll out of harm's way. Miraz recovered

quickly however and landed blows upon me as I escaped. I felt myself hit rock and knew I had reached the edge of the battle ring and could go no farther, so

instead, I took Miraz down on top me. I pushed him off me and scrambling, I rose to my feet, getting into battle position once more, and tried to focus on anything

but the pain. That's when I heard the neighing of a horse. Looking to the woods as Miraz was hulling himself up, I saw Susan and Prince Caspian ridding back into

the How, Lucy, no where to be seen. I panicked at the thought of my baby sister being harmed in any way. Shaking the thought from my head, I tried putting my

attention back on Miraz, now was no time to be distracted. It evidently did not work very well.

"_Does his highness need a respite?"_ my opponent questioned mockingly.

"_Five minutes?"_ I answered. I did not want to show weakness but I could not continue to battle not knowing what happened to Lucy. I also knew I could not continue with my shoulder in such state.

"_Three,"_ there was triumph in his cold eyes.

We both headed back to our armies, each with an injury. Pain scrunched my face as I moved my dislocated shoulder. Edmund met me half way, picking up my long forgotten helmet and leading me to Susan and Caspian. I saw the look of worry on my sister's face and half questioned, half stated

"_Lucy."_

"_She got through, with a little help," she replied glancing at my injury with an anxious expression._

"_Thanks," I nodded to Caspian, ignoring Susan's somewhat disapproving looks._

"_You were busy," he merely said._

"_You better get out there," I directed Susan, "just in case." We both did not want to think of what would happen just in case, "I doubt the Telmarians will keep their word."_

_Susan, unable to contain herself any longer pulled me into a hug, I gasped, my shoulder throbbing._

"_Sorry," she apologized._

"_That's okay," I didn't mind the pain for her hug was a show of her concern, and her love. _

_Susan swallowed, "Be careful." _

_Edmund's voice then cut in, "Keep smiling." _He was reminding us of our duty as Kings and Queens. As Susan ran off to join the archers, I thrust my sword in the air with more of a grimace than a smile, but it did the trick. The Narnians roared with cheers for victory.

Caspian and Edmund lead me to the steps and bustled around me, I groaned as Caspian pulled off my shield. He gave me a look of concern before putting it off to the side.

"_I think it's dislocated,"_ I informed Edmund, as if he did not know that already.

Edmund gave a frustrated sigh as he went to examine it. I did not show worry to Miraz, or my loyal subjects, but I was truly perplexed. What if I wasn't to survive this battle? I knew that I had to let Edmund know how much he meant to me, _just in case_. I could not let the last thing he remembered about me was a lost, angry brother that drove him away in the greatest time of need.

"_What do you think happens back home," I pondered, "if you die here…" I did not need to see the look on Edmund's face to know what he was thinking. I looked to my younger brother, "You know you've always been there," I said this now knowing it might be the only time I could, "and I've never really—UGH!" I grunted out in agony, my bones making a crunching sound as Edmund pushed my shoulder back in mid sentence. _

"_Just save it for later," was all he said. Then he went of to fetch my things._

Save it for later?! Why did he think I was saying it now! I knew that it would hurt my brother to hear what I wanted to say, but he had to know. However, as I stepped out onto that battle ground again, my brother's words ringing in my head, I came to the conclusion that he said it out of faith as much as any other. With that knowledge, I knew I could not and _would not_ let him down, and I did not.

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**Caspian POV**

I rode into the How to the sound of jeering from both sides. I saw High King Peter and Miraz both getting back onto their feet and getting back into their fighting

stances. As I looked to King Peter, I locked eyes with him and I could see slight panic, and much pain, on his face. There was an exchanging of words between the

Narnian king and my uncle, and both limped back to their people. I guided the horse over to where Edmund had just been standing and waited for Susan to

dismount behind me before doing so myself. I listened to the words being said between the two siblings. Then, a simple "Thanks," from the High King was directed at me.

"_You were busy,"_ I replied, remaining calm and collected on the outside. However, that simple word filled me with pride, for it was not just a King who said it to me, but the High King of Old. It seemed that our early differences and difficulties had been put aside, if only for awhile.

"Keep smiling," King Edmund's voice cut through my thoughts, this confused me greatly, but Peter and Susan seemed to know what he meant. I watched as Queen

Susan ran of to the ridge. Peter thrust his sword up in the air, the simple gesture inspiring and filling the Narnians with more hope then they've had in hundreds of

years. His smile was a grimace; clearly he was in a great extent of pain. Yet, the younger brother's smile was pure and I was amazed at how well he could hide his

feelings for surely he was very upset right now. I marveled at the monarchs of Old and knew that I still had so much to learn about being a good King, and I hoped

that they would teach me how to govern such people with conviction and fairness to all. With Edmund's help, I lead Peter to the steps and then removed his shield.  
When he hissed at the pain it caused, I wondered why he was doing this. Why he was risking his life for a Narnia that was not what he had remembered, for a

Narnia that was clearly disappointing to him. But it was his job, and he would fight for his country to the death. Which was probably what he was thinking too as I

caught the conversation between the two brothers and two Kings. Again, my thoughts were cut short, this time by Peter. His cry as the younger forcefully pushed

back the injured shoulder in mid the elder's heartfelt speech.

"Just save it for later," I heard Edmund say. I realized how hard it must have been for him to watch his older brother go into single combat like this. One would think  
he would be used to it but according to all legends, which were proving to be true, whenever in battle, they fought side to side and back to back, protecting each

other. When Peter stepped out again, he refused the helmet offered to him by his brother. Reckless I thought, and surely King Edmund would not allow it. Seeing

how the brothers were, I was almost expecting Edmund to force the helmet onto Peter's head. But he did not, which spoke of trust, trust that his brother would not  
fail, that his brother would return to him. Across the ring, Miraz refused his helmet too, but it was not for the same reasons. You have much to learn about being a

King too, I said silently to my uncle, and that day, his lesson was learned.

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**Edmund POV**

Walking out of the How next to my brother was one of the worst moments of my life. No, it was the worst moment of my life. I knew that he had to do this, but it

didn't mean I had to like it. I was furious when he was writing the letter to Miraz, he was always so reckless. I had endured his sour moods and changed attitude

back in England, but now that we were back home-though it doesn't really feel like it anymore-he was worse than ever. He had lost the knowledge of what it

meant to be a King, he had lost himself. And now it seemed like Peter was trying to redeem himself, yet this was not the way! No matter how much a prat Peter

was in his current, no matter how much this past year hurt me with him consistently pushing me away, I loved him. He was my older brother and my King, and it

was up to me to make it so he was not harmed. But Peter would not listen to me, and as he is my King, it was up to me to get Miraz to agree, so reluctantly I did.

Now facing the enemy, my thoughts of despair were upon me again. The Narnians were looking towards me though, towards their King. So as King, it was my job

to keep the Narnians' hopes well. With the well rehearsed facade that I had perfected over 16 years (1), I held my brother's sword out to him, a sword that had

fought, and won, him so many battles. And I prayed to Aslan that this time it would be no different. Watching the fight was worse than the antagonizing hours

leading up to it. Seeing Peter get knocked around, landing hard blows, but fighting with equal vigor, and not being able to do anything about it killed me ever so

slowly. Every time the sword struck, I winced, knowing how much it hurt, but I could not turn away. I had to keep watching, not because I wanted to, but because I  
could not tear my eyes away in fear that something would happen to Peter the moment my back was turned. The Narnians were still looking to me and Peter, I had

to remain calm. This was one of the things, if not the one thing, that I hated most about being a King. I had to deal with things that normal children my age-though

technically I was no child- would not dream of, and remain perfectly poised. Even though I was screaming on the inside. Peter's cry of agony tore across the How. I

almost cried out with him. I could feel the tears forming in my eyes but I forced them away, there would be time to break down later. Everything was tuned out

except the battle that was going on in front of me; I didn't even notice Susan and Caspian ridding back into the clearing until Peter and Miraz had agreed on a

respite. I met Peter halfway back to our side, he was limping from exhaustion and I could tell his shoulder was paining him terribly. I listened to the exchanging of

words between Susan, Peter, and Caspian. And when I heard Peter tell Susan to get to the archers 'Just in case' my heart jumped. Though this time it was not from  
pain, it was from my quick temper. He could not just give up hope now, he could _not_ ask me to endure the possibility of him—no! I would not even entertain the

thought. Apparently Susan was thinking along the same lines although she showed her emotions with one of her gentle hugs. I glanced at our poorly put together

army-still, they were still more loyal than the enemy-and noticed them getting slightly restless, with worry was my guess. I turned back to my siblings,

"Keep smiling," I reminded them of their duty. Susan nodded and ran off to join the archers on the ridge while Peter and I turned to our army. Peter thrust his

sword up in the air with a grimace that could barely pass as a smile and I gave a hallow grin that would look real to anyone but my family and closest friends, who

were all dead I thought regrettably. The Narnians cheered at the fact that their High King was seemingly well and so with the mission accomplished, we turned our

backs and Caspian helped me lead Peter to sit, nonetheless, not before giving us both appalled looks. While I busied myself with putting Peter's sword to the side,

Caspian removed Peter's shield.

"I think it's dislocated," he informed me as I made my way over to examine his injury. "What you think happens, back home, if you die here?" he questioned. Fear

gripped me, why was he talking about such things? His injury was not as bad as Miraz's and was easily fixed, he still had a fighting chance. We exchanged a glance

and I saw it in his eyes. He really did think he was going to die. If he should think that than he really should know that I would never let that happen; even if it

meant throwing myself into the battle and into harm's way. With a pang I realized that I could not though, because once again, my duty as King came first, and I

had to do what was best for Narnia, and not for me.

"You know you've always been there," Peter was saying, "and I've never really—UGH!" Not wanting to hear anymore, I had forced his shoulder back in its socket, successfully cutting off his 'death speech'. I would not hear it because that would mean that he wasn't coming back, and by Aslan, I would not bear to think that

happen. He was my brother damn it, King or no, he did not deserve to have life taken from him so early. I did not deserve to have him taken away from _me_ so early,  
nor did my sisters. However, I also knew Peter, I knew him better than anyone else did, despite our falling out. And I knew that he would fight like hell to stay alive, to keep on protecting Narnia, to keep protecting his family.

"Save it for later," I muttered before retrieving his things. It was not a blunt denial on my part, no, realization had struck me that I actually did mean it; that I knew

that Peter would survive this pitiless combat. Hope filled me within, and it made me almost pleased, surprising myself in the most delightful way. As I thought, a

light warm wind whipped around me,_ Aslan_, it comforted me to know he was with us, at least in spirit, and it was enough to calm me down-if only slightly. The warm  
breeze swept once around me, and then blew around Peter, also reaching out to him, giving him strength as well. For when Peter stepped out again to battle, he had renewed confidence, he had renewed hope. And that hope did not fail him, nor did it fail me.

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A/N:

Okay. Notes. First of all, let me say that this turned out a hell of a lot longer than intended. I was thinking it would be about a page long but looky here, 4 pages! Longest single story I've ever written. Also, yes I know, Peter and Edmund's thoughts are way more in depth than Caspian's but that's because I don't really have a solid grasp on his character, I really did try to make it longer, I reread and edited this like 5 times. Plus, it really was a Peter/Edmund angsty thoughts story so. Please tell me your thoughts!

1) I put 16 years in Edmund's POV because he and his siblings reigned in Narnia for 15 years (I'm pretty sure that's right) and then his 1 year in England right before Prince Caspian. So just incase you were like 'Hey stupid, I know Skandar is 16 but Edmund's only 11'.


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